"Like everyone else, I want to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio. But I guess I'd want to marry Tom Cruise, because he's much more responsibe. I think Leo would play around on me. And I could never trust him on a cruise ship, obviously. "

His News is All Faked Up!

Jon Stewart is an American comedian, actor, author, and producer, best known as the host of The Daily Show on Comedy Central.

Stewart, born Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz, was raised in Lawrenceville, New Jersey. His father was a physicist who left the family in 1971. Stewart dropped the last name, Leibowitz, and changed the spelling of the middle name to become his last name, Stewart. In school, he was a member of the band, and always shorter than his classmates (now he only stands 5'7"). In college he played on the men's soccer team and was a member of the Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity.

After college he held many jobs including planning work for the New Jersey Department of Human Services, and a contract administrator for puppeteer for children with disabilities. He bartended at the Franklin Corner Tavern, a blue-collar bar.

Stewart began hosting television shows in 1989 with Short Attention Span Theater. He hosted You Wrote It, You Watch It, and The Jon Stewart Show. He also has appeared in several small movie roles, including Half Baked and The Faculty. He hosted the Grammys twice, in 2001 and 2002.

He has been the host of Comedy Central's The Daily Show with Jon Stewart since 1999. Stewart has received the Peabody Award twice for the coverage of the 2000 and 2004 presidential elections on The Daily Show.

Fellow "journalist" Bill O'Reilly says that The Daily Show is watched by "stoned slackers," citing research indicating that "87% are intoxicated when the watch."

Stewart married Tracey McShane in 2000, his long-time girlfriend. The couple had their first child on July 3, 2004, and are expecting another.